At five, I still wanted to know that I would grow up, period. And not come to a full stop.

Whilst we like to think children have no conception of death, the evidence seems to be that from the age of 5 upwards, children begin to develop an idea of death as and end, of worldly life at least, though their views of this still contain elements of magical thinking as to cause of death … More At five, I still wanted to know that I would grow up, period. And not come to a full stop.

‘When I were five, I wore a plastic sword’: my child hero then, not Hugh MacDiarmid’s hero in his ‘Hymn to Lenin’ [but confused with Shakespeare’s ‘Richard III’ in my childish brain].

When I were five, I wore a plastic swordTo make my fantasy of Shakie’s ‘DickThe Turd’, heroic tho’ a villain, boredOf bowing to lesser kings, cringing sick-With-fancies sycophants to restrainingRealities. To change the sad bad worldEven then was my aim: rid of feigningWe would, I’d ensure it, red flag unfurledMake level those peaks of  false … More ‘When I were five, I wore a plastic sword’: my child hero then, not Hugh MacDiarmid’s hero in his ‘Hymn to Lenin’ [but confused with Shakespeare’s ‘Richard III’ in my childish brain].

When I was five … The problem of being 5 is that no one, and least of all one’s reflective elder self, can read what might have been there. This is dark fantasy, therefore.

When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up? The problem of being 5 is that no one, and least of all one’s reflective elder self, can read what might have been there. This is dark fantasy, therefore. When I was five, the moon was green cream-cheese. Freud thought I … More When I was five … The problem of being 5 is that no one, and least of all one’s reflective elder self, can read what might have been there. This is dark fantasy, therefore.